If you’re not the churchgoing type, it may have escaped you that Lent is starting next week, on Ash Wednesday.  Of course, Ash Wednesday is preceded by Shrove Tuesday, or Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday”), a day of revelry before the time of penitence and fasting.  And Mardi Gras is simply the last day of Carnival, a whole period of celebration, the length of which varies around the world.

When I think of Carnival or Mardi Gras, I think of New Orleans and Rio.  And based on our experience of Germans thus far, if I hadn’t read about it, I’d never assume they’d partake in any sort of debauchery.  But Karneval in the Cologne area is supposed to be one of the biggest parties in all of Europe.

In our part of the country, Karneval — known as the “fifth season” — kicked off back in November, on the 11th day of the 11th month, with some crazy partying we heard about from the young French guys in our language class.  Then things were quiet for awhile, until last weekend.

On television, things started heating up, with extremely silly concerts and celebrations.  The most important thing about Karneval, it seems, is to have a truly rockin’ costume.  The stores — even the modest market across the street — started selling pirate, cowboy, and nun costumes about a week ago.

But the true beginning of the raucousness known as the “crazy days” is today — Weiberfastnacht (women’s carnival night).  Today, the women are in charge!  Girls wear costumes to school.  Women get special priviliges, such as kissing any man they wish .  And any man caught wearing a tie had better be sure it’s a cheap one, as normally reserved German women will cut it off.

Maybe it’s good that Amber’s coming back tomorrow.

I’m tempted to sacrifice a tie for the experience, but clueless about the intricacies of the ritual, I fear I’ll end up in some sort of trouble.

There will, apparently, be partying all weekend, with the biggest day of Karneval here being Rosemontag (Rose Monday).   On Monday, the biggest parties and parades will happen, and every will get rip-roaringly drunk.  There’s a saying here: “If you saw the parade, you weren’t at the parade.”   Whoever’s not hung over or exhausted will try to party again on Tuesday.

We’ll let you know whatever parts of this we get to experience.

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*The title of this post is not a funny German saying, but rather a terrible pun created by Joe.